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Bound to You/Cadence M
Disclaimer: Own none, sue none.
Summary: Spoiler for "Time Squared". When Adam dies, an alternate universe is created. First-person Adam fic. Angst. PG.
Ship: Adam/Emma
Warnings: Angst. Lots and lots of angst.
Notes: I was listening to Something Corporate's "Konstantine" when writing this. The line "It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it", plus the rest of the song. Just makes me think of Adam and Emma for some reason. If anything, blame that song. Oh, and you should probably keep a tissue handy.
***
Ashlocke grabbed me by shirt collar. "I offered your younger self redemption," he said, pulling me close to him -- close enough to smell the furious hatred on his breath, "and he took it. I'm sorry you can't handle that."
He tossed me to the floor again, and I managed to gather myself together. I glanced up at him. "You don't know what you're doing." I tried to get up.
"You made me who I am!" he yelled. "And now you want to deny me the chance to save myself?"
"We felt we were saving you," I said back. All I could think was: I don't want to die here .
"No. You thought, Adam. Then your ego got out of hand. You thought you had the chance to create a race of superhumans, and you took it."
I shook my head and closed my eyes. Can't die here . "That's not the way it was."
Gabriel smirked, bringing his hands together to create an energy blast. I stood, my eyes widened, and my heart beat faster. I'm going to die here .
"That was your one big mistake. And now you're gonna die, knowing that I'm gonna live on... and on... and on..."
I heard a little click, and my eyes shifted to the door, where my younger self stood, staring with eyes that surely had to be as wide as mine. I was going to watch myself die and not even know it. I just hoped he would change things, that this wasn't doomed to happen again, that this mobius strip would lose a link and break off.
Gabriel looked up at me, his smirk getting bigger. "And everything I do, I'll do in your memory."
He launced the blast toward me, and in the small moment of time, I forced out something from my mind -- my goodbye to Emma. I didn't know if she received it or not, because I felt the searing pain of that energy blast burning into me. I had the time to realize that the blast wasn't any elemental type, but a molecular type that seeped into my skin and tore me apart from the inside. I wanted to scream as I was thrown back into... something. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I could only see black. There was some smell invading me, but it wasn't anything earthly.
Was this what it was like to die?
***
I watched her as she walked into the room where my body was. I looked up at her, but she couldn't see me. Her eyes were focused on the dead body in front of her. I watched as she ran toward that body, clasped that cold hand, and as tears began to fill her eyes. I heard her mutter "oh my god" under her breath; I could hear the slight tremble in her voice. I didn't want to do this to her. I didn't want to go without telling her goodbye.
I watched as she found the rest of the team, as she stopped Brennan from killing young Gabriel (I would have berated him for it had I lived), as they went back to our time, to our home. I watched her run to her room right after they got home. I sat on her bed and watched her as she weeped. She lay there, shoulders shaking for hours on end, until she had let Shalimar pull her out for some breakfast by the time morning had come. I looked down at that pillow, saw the tears there, and wished that I could weep as well.
I swept into the kitchen. It was swamped in a thick silence of sadness. I could feel it swell up inside me as I looked upon the faces of my friends. Brennan tried to pretend he was reading Leaves of Grass, but I could tell he wasn't. Jesse's eyes were unfocused, fixed upon the box of cereal before him. I tried to touch his shoulder, but my hand went right through him. I turned my gaze to Shalimar, and immediately wished I hadn't. She was sitting with Emma on the floor, holding the redhead close to her as tears streamed down her cheeks. Emma was sobbing uncontrollably, which made me hurt worse than I'd ever hurt before.
Then Emma looked up at where I was, and for a moment, I thought she actually saw me. She looked back down at the floor.
***
She continued to cry at night for the next month, and got very little sleep. I worried about her. I told her every night, when she fell asleep. I whispered it into her ear. I tried so hard to kiss away her tears. "I love you. I miss you. I wish I was still there for you..." She never gave any signs of hearing me, until one night, when her eyes shot open and she sat straight up in bed.
"Adam?" she asked quietly.
I smiled slightly, but I don't think she saw me. "I love you, Emma," I whispered again.
Tears sprung from her beautiful eyes again. "Adam..." She crawled out of bed and twirled around, searching for me. Finally, she locked eyes with mine. She jumped toward me, only to grasp at air. She fell onto the floor, and I kneeled down beside her. I tried to touch her face, and she gave a small sob at the lack of sensation. She wanted me to be real. I felt an even greater sadness fill me, and I realized what I had to do.
"I don't know why I'm still here, Emma," I confessed. "But I think... it's my time to go. I have to say goodbye, Emma. I love you. I love you all. Tell them goodbye for me." I touched her face, and was surprised to find that I seemed to have gained some sort of substance for just this moment. I leaned forward, touching my lips to hers, and whispered into her ear, "I'll always love you."
Her eyes opened, and I could feel myself leave her. Again.
I came back to see her a few times during her life. She grew older and more beautiful, and I only felt sorrow for not being able to be there with her as it happened. She gained admirers, boyfriends, but never anything permanent. She left Mutant X, choosing to live in a small apartment in New York. When she cried, I came to her. I tried to talk to her and comfort her, but she never heard me again.
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The Sun Never Sets on PureMX.net
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