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Author: CadenceM
Title: Phantoms
Summary: With a gentle voice/With a trembling voice/I continued praying...
Rating: PG-13
'Ship: Adam/Emma
Notes: This is the sequel to "Poison". It's written a little bit from Shal's POV. It reflects her thoughts, etc. Please read "Poison" before you read this one. The lyrics in the summary come from the translated version of Gackt's "rain". The lyrics in the story below come from Sarah McLachlan's "Possession".
Archive: Xiphan's Mutant X Fansite and Enchanting Emma are the only sites that have permission to put my fics up without asking. If you want it, just ask.
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Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
to find the truth enslaved
You speak to me in riddles and
you speak to my in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep my alive
Shalimar stirs the nights that Adam and Emma come home late. It creeps up on her while she slumbers, like a silent sexual phantom preying upon her feline senses. She can pick up every catching breath, every moan, every thrust, every drop of sweat...
She turns over in her bed, throwing a pillow over her head. It only dulls the noise. She knows she'll never sleep peacefully with them in the other room. The smell of them both sweaty with desire and the sound of their lovemaking makes her wet inside and out, and she wishes that she could just drown them out. It's driving her mad.
It breaks her heart to hear Adam speak after his lovemaking with Emma. She wants to cry, to scream at Emma to just let him love her the way Shalimar wants to be loved by him. Soon there's silence, and Shalimar weeps into her bedsheets, the same way she does every night.
She sees them in the day, watching as they try to hide their passions from the others. The boys don't see it, but Shalimar does. She sees their hidden glances, the way Adam touches Emma's arm any time he's worried; he never touched her like that. He never looked at her like a man in love. The only time she had seen that look on his face was when Danielle was around -- but, even then, it wasn't the same. She wonders why they aren't the same during the waking hours as they are at night, why they don't say the other's name the way she knows they want to, why Emma barely acknowledges Adam's presence, or why Adam looks away from Emma when he realizes that Shalimar's scrutinizing him.
She can feel her boiling blood racing through her veins when she sees Emma. The urge to scream at her for being so stupid comes back, and she finds it hard to shove down the impulse to throttle the younger woman. Her heart constantly aches, and the yearning continues to grow, and she knows that Emma must feel it, because she has been avoiding Shalimar like the Black Death.
For all Shalimar knows, she will become the Black Death.
Brennan tries to comfort her; he knows something's wrong, but he can't help. He can't stop the longing she has. He doesn't know what she's longing for. Shalimar can smell desire on him, too, only of a different kind. He cares, she knows, but her apathy towards him is uncontrollable. When the night falls, no one can help her.
She sleeps outside now, unable to stand the sounds coming from the bedroom next to hers. She stares up at the moon, offering up silent prayers for Adam to find happiness, so that she may find her own.
And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear
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